Be Love, Be Honest, Be Useful
Living a sacramental life.
I really do mean it when I say that for me, I feel quite convinced that the essence of life, of why we are here on this planet, and of what the new church that my tradition has long proclaimed is, is simply that we might individually and collectively Be Love, Be Honest and Be Useful.
After years of theological study, liturgical practice, and pastoral leadership, I just don’t buy any more that any of the complex religious structures and practices and beliefs that so many of us hold so solidly actually have any substance, beyond their ability to foster love, truth and usefulness.
That perhaps nothing actually exists, like really exists, like eternally and substantially exists, except that which is loving and honest and useful.
If you disagree with me I’d love it if you’d come and argue your perspective. What interesting discussions we will have?! And in your efforts to convince me I feel sure that I and hopefully others will come to understand and appreciate the depth of your religious life like never before!
And we will all win.
Because I am sure that love, truth and usefulness can be fostered, nurtured, manifested in an infinite number of forms.
What’s important, what matters, is not the specific forms by which these intentions are expressed, but that they are expressed, that they are valued, embodied and nurtured into being. I can believe that it is theoretically a good idea to be loving, honest and useful, I can devote myself to forms that lift up and celebrate love, truth and usefulness, and still be unwilling to do what is required to live by these intentions in my day to day life.
And it is not surprising that there is resistance to living these intentions out!
While I would suggest the world has always been ultimately sustained by love, truth and usefulness, our human community has also always been enamored by the acquiring of external forms, money, status, power, physical beauty, comfort, safety, to the detriment of these higher ideals. Most humans today live in a very mixed state where we believe in love, and truth and usefulness, but we also have been taught to hold many other more materialistic concerns that are in conflict with who we really are.
This to me is why beliefs are not enough. Too often I have experienced people (myself included) expressing beautiful beliefs, while clearly living by much uglier ones.
In a recent inventory I did this past month within myself I was able to uncover a whole host of competing beautiful and ugly beliefs that were causing turmoil.
UGLY: That my children should be “better” in some way, more kind, agreeable, flexible, healthy, and would be if I was making better choices in the care of our family.
BEAUTIFUL: That we are all doing the best we can. That it’s hard to be a human. That the universe has been orchestrating the propagation of life long before I became a mom just fine. That the awareness I have now about what I long to be better, I can act on, to bring the change I wish to see in myself and my family.
UGLY: That my body is unattractive/unfit to be visible in the world.
BEAUTIFUL: That my body makes possible this experience of life. That while it may not fit traditional beauty standards it makes breath, and love, and play possible. It is an incredible bit of flesh that enables me to swim and eat and dance and sleep and birth babies and speak and sing and I wouldn’t be here without it.
UGLY: That I cannot keep a clean house, that the demands of modern life are too extensive and I will never be able to meet them.
BEAUTIFUL: That we live in a time of immense choice and it will take time for me to sift through and discover what I really want and need, what I am able to manage, and what I want to release. That perhaps I’m meant to defy and change the demands of modern life? And it’s reasonable for it to be very messy in the mean time.
UGLY: That I am lonely, disconnected from meaningful relationships and experiences, with little time to be at ease and playful.
BEAUTIFUL: That discovering this disconnection is the first step to healing it. That I am on a path to bring that which I see is missing back into the world. That I am experiencing an important and beautiful and necessary moment of isolation so that I can discover myself and return to relationships centered and clear, with the ability to set boundaries, to share my dreams and hopes, to be at ease and playful without fear of how I will be received.
I would suggest we all have many competing beliefs inside that are causing ourselves and others heaps of suffering. And I would suggest that the intention to Be Love, Be Honest, and Be Useful can help us to clear out the ugly beliefs that are getting in the way of our highest thriving.
Our weekly Be Love, Be Honest, Be Useful ZOOM Gathering holds the intention of making such a space for this reflection.
And as I described in Monday’s article “A new moon, a not so new sacramental act,” I’m launching a new offering to gather us together around the sacraments of baptism and holy supper each month, to reflect on what we need to release, and what we are being called to welcome in. Do get in touch if you’d like to join in this ritual LIVE over ZOOM.
Full Moon BE HONEST Virtual Baptism Ritual - What is getting in the way of love?
(Tuesday September 17th, Thursday October 17th, Friday November 15th, Sunday December 15th)
New Moon BE LOVE Virtual Communion Feast - What is loving you into being?
Wednesday October 2nd, Friday November 1st, Sunday December 1st, Monday December 30th)
There are so many possibilities waiting to emerge. It’s time to live in alignment with what is loving, true and useful. It’s time to release our obsession with how things look on the outside, and tend to the garden of life within. This is where our true power lies.
Every time we make a decision to do something, our egos seem to always find a way to justify behavior rather than being open to all. How can we be the sky rather than the weather?
I personally would love to hear more thoughts on what "useful" means. Useful to whom or what? For what purpose? If usefulness is one of the characteristics to flourish in this life, what happens to those who don't or can't meet that value/criteria?